Fool In The Rain

today it rained. alot. but it was surprisingly a nice day. despite the fact that i woke up with a massive scratch on my face. (see moblog) i saw Empire Strikes Back this morning. it was awesome. i forgot how good that movie was. despite the fact that its my least favorite of the original trilogy. i saw A New Hope the day before. i hope to see Return Of The Jedi tomorow morning.. but i dunno if i can.. since my mom is off work. o well.

anyways, i thought i would give that audio blogger thing another go. when i got home from work i sat in my car for a while chatting. and realized the rain was so loud and soothing, so i stuck my phone up against the moonroof, and now everyone can enjoy a little rainy time goodness. enjoy.

Holiday

Dammit. For those of you who know me... I always forget something. Well... in this case I forgot my cellphone charger. The car charger is in my car, the regular charger is next to my bed. I also forgot the power inverter for the truck. It is also in my car. O well. So my sidekick is dead. And I have to make sure my laptop is charged for the trip back. Its 11 o'clock Sunday night and I just watched the extended version of the return of the king. I really liked a lot of the extended and deleted scenes. Particularly the one where Merry kicks orc ass during the battle of Pelannor Fields I am currently listening to one of my new CDs that I got today during a trip to both Borders and Barnes & Noble. I received gift cards for both and used them both. I am currently listening to The Foo Fighters “There Is Nothing Left To Lose.” I also bought Breaking Benjamin's “We Are Not Alone” and The Vines “Winning Days.”

as for the trip thus far, aside from the collapse of half of my electronics, I have failed to acquire additional music from my cousins enormous library. I was hoping to be able to rip them straight to my laptop, but I realized that would require an internet connection... which he has, but its shared wirelessly with a 48 bit encryption. wtf? My wireless card only supports 64 and 128 bit so..... that was futile. And when I thought to take music straight from his computer(s), I realized that all his music was ripped and sorted as custom compilations. Useless. He has almost no complete albums, and if he does, they've all been re named and re sorted into custom “best-of” compilations and other cleverly named and compiled collections. Clever, but useless to me. And he had a lot of stuff I wanted too.... he just got the complete studio recordings of The Doors for example. But no. I have no internet. (which is why I am typing this out on my computers word processing program).

I guess my cousin bought his wife a karaoke machine.... ugh. Nothing like a bunch of drunken middle-aged women singing to bad representations of good songs.... and ruining them in the process. They did this yesterday to crappy songs, and today having acquired better music to piss all over. Both times I hid in the back room with my laptop and a movie. As for my gifts, the most exciting stuff was the gift cards.... which I already spent, other than that.... nothing of note. I also got a blockbuster gift card which I will likely use to buy Spiderman 2. aside from that,my stay here has been pretty uneventful when there wasn't either a movie to watch, (good) music to listen to or food to eat. This is an extremely boring town. The only things Bakerfield is known for is being the only large city between Fresno (which is famous for the same reason) and Los Angeles; and the home town of Korn. Thats. About. it.

As for my health, I am slowly coming out of this cold, im still coughing once in a while and my throat dries up and gets sore every so often, but ive gotten most of my strength back and my congestion isn't nearly as bad. I should be feeling fine just in timee for it to rain. Yay.

Wonderful Christmastime

Christmas eve. The night before Christmas. Sugar plums and ginger bread. In my case, it was Nyquil and hot tea, but to each his own. I don't remember if I mentioned it in my mast post or not, but I am sick. As a dog. For the last week my allergies have seemingly been hyper sensitive as my nose and throat seem to be out to ruin my holiday. The cold finally hit the 23^rd, the night I was out with my mom doing last minute shopping. That was not fun at all. Especially when she takes a side trip on the way home to stop by the grocery store for milk.... and then buys several bags worth of groceries..... but forgets THE MILK. She then tells my brother to go get it. He obviously declines. I realized later why she did that. When it was later brought up how she forgot it, she was able to place some blame on him for not going back to get it. Clever.

Christmas eve kinda sucked. The morning was devoted to cleaning the house in preparation of family coming up from the city to stay the night. It especially sucked since I was sick and weak and just wanted to sleep. I spent most of the time sitting on the couch under a blanket with my laptop. We went out for lunch, which was ok. Service was slow, burger was dry, blah. Then came some opening of presents before the obligatory christmas eve mass. An hour and a half of drifting off into thought. Sandwiched between rather unpleasant car rides through the freezing weather. I REALLY didn't want to go. But if I didn't, I would never have heard the end of it. That evening I got my borders GC, the star wars DVDs, a t-shirt, a couple sweatshirts and some cash. I also got spiderman 2 which I promptly regifted to my cousin because I wanted the collectors edition box set thing. I specifically told my mom not to buy me any movies or anything for that very reason. On top of that it wasn't even widescreen. *sigh* o well.

Christmas morning I was up at 7 am. Along with every 6 year old in the country. Only I was getting dressed and packed for our trip. I got Layla ready and dropped her off at my uncles for her stay while we are out of town. In the meantime the truck was loaded and everyone was good to go. They were aiming to be gone by 7. I predicted we wouldn't leave before 9.we were out of the house by 8:45. pretty damn close. I opted not to drive as I was somewhat tired and wanted to read / watch a movie on the laptop (it was then, about 20 miles from home that I realized I had forgotten my power inverter) so I read for a while, and just before Livermore I took over the helm. I ended up driving the rest of the way down. The weather wasn't too bad. Some light fog, but it cleared up. It was still damn cold. We stopped twice, once for food and once for gas. We arrived in Bakersfield at about 2:30. Not bad when you consider it usually took us about 4.5 hours from SF non-stop, only this time we were an hour north of SF and we made 2 stops. I guess thats what happens when you travel christmas day.

Better On Holiday

if it werent for the calender telling me other wise and the media beating me over the head with a yule log.... id never know it was less than a week before christmas. it feels like mid january. which is to say..... its cold. thats it. i dont feel warm inside. i dont feel special. i am not overcome by holiday spirit. its just cold.

theres one other sign of the holidays... my empty checking account. yup gotta love that holiday shopping. already took care of my moms, my godmother's and my friend melissa's gifts. everyone else i either wont see till after the holidays, giving me more time, or i just dont know what to get. like my dad for instance, i dunno what the hell to get him. blah. got my godmother a wireless router and everyone else music. last year i bought my sister a video games.... but this year my mom got her a bike and my dad got her roller blades.... so shes good to go. i dunno about my brother. i might just get him a movie i want. and say its for him. so i can watch it. nice eh?

today was quite a day. it began last night when i couldnt sleep, continued to this morning when i over slept and wasnt awoken and was an hour late for work. i then worked straight on through 2 without breakfast or lunch. finally had lunch only to have to take my brother to a friends house, making me 10 minutes late to return from lunch. i came home to an empty house. but that changed when i picked up my brother and my mom and sister came home a little later. they already ate. i wasnt really hungry and was in no mood to discuss things. i was online talking to people getting restless when melissa said she was gonna take off from home. hmm... ok. me too. so we went to lyons for a milkshake to get away from our respective loving families (see moblog). man was it nice to be able to just leave and actually have somewhere to go. only to come home to a dog that needed to be walked and to try to take a shower with no shower curtain. man that was a spirited conversation. *sigh* why am i not asleep? looks like its gonna be another fun night. thank goodness its the holidays, or might be feeling depressed....

Boulevard of Broken Dreams

Semester's just about over. 2 more finals tonight, and then im done. just like last semester, when it ended, i was kinda sad. then it was because i was gonna miss the classes i had. i didnt yet know how boring and lonely it would become during the summer. now i know, and im not really looking forward too the break for that reason. im glad homework is over, but i am gonna miss having something to do in the mornings, and evenings for that matter. this semester i didnt get quite so attached to my classes, as there was very little contact lwith any fellow students. with the exception being my biology lab. but thats already over. final was monday morning. i have art history tomorow morning and soc tomorow evening. have yet to study.

in other news, i put up christmas lights at work. all that fricken work.... now i really dont wanna put up decorations here at home. im too damn lazy. and my leg hurts. im so tired right now, and sore. im glad im gonna get some time off work... even if its only a couple days. i really shouldnt complain, since the only people i really have to deal with are our employees (real estate agents and their assistants), bank employees (who, themseles, have to deal with "people") and the occasionaly trip to the grocery store, hardware store, or starbucks. so... it could be worse.... i could haave tjeir jobs, and have to deal with strange people ALL THE TIME. from what ive heard, thats not fun. although i will rant about one particular agent who will remain nameless... cuz i already mentioned her name when i took a picture of her messy desk.... anyways...

its my job to do the bitch work around the office, in case you havent noticed, which includes cleaning things, hanging christmas lights, etc. after i was done with the lights i went inside to wash my hands before going to the hardware store, they were pretty dirty from the lights, and the gutter thing and the latter and all the other crap i was touching. but on of our agents was in the kitchen area doing something, so i waited for her to finish and did something else.. i forget what. upon returning i saw that she was gone. so i went over to wash my hands. while i was washing she returned.... i saw her out of the corner of my eye stop at the doorway, then continue towards the sink, where she proceeded to squeeze next to me and pour herself some water from the drinking faucet (we have two faucets at the sink, one for washing, one for drinking..... the drinking one has filtered water and instant hot water) she was gettign hot water. the sink we have is TINY not much larger than a laptop. so.... not big enought for say.... one person to wash their hands and another to serve themselves hot water. what bugs me is that she said nothing, she just kind of reached for the lever and poured herself a cup. i backed away from washing as i didnt want to get soap in her cup... or scaldingly hot water on my hand (its like SUPER hot instantly) but wait, theres more.... she then proceeds to reach COMPLETELY across me to get to the paper towells which are, needless to ay, on the opposite side ofthe sink as the drinking faucet. she didnt say a thing to me.... until she asked if i was ready for the holidays. all i could manage was a lackluster "yup." what a bitch. shes actually nice to me alot of the time.... but she can be so rude.

man that songs been stuck in my head for days. "i walk alone, i walk alone..."

When The Levee Breaks

man when the shit hits the fan.... it gets all over the place. isnt it weird how we are able to so quickly snap and be so short tempered with the people we love most? my family and i didnt know what to do this evening, and my mom was becoming impatient.... so i made a decision to announce where we were to eat and she went with that. i was in my bath robe having just gotten out off the shower when i made the anouncement, needless to say, everyone else was fully dressed. my mom, in response to my quick decision announced that we were leaving immediately. so i went to my room to get dressed. i then went straight outside. and wouldnt you know it... but i was the first one in the car. that speaks volumes about how my family is able to function.

on the way up to the restaurant my mom insisted i turn down the radio. whatever. i turned it off. she started to talk about our plans for this weekend and for chrstmas. i forget exactly what we accomplished on the ride up, because most of it was repeated once we got the restaurant. this restaurant is a relatively famous local place where they supposedly make the best burgers in the area. there is one in petaluma that is only open during the day, but this on is open for dinner as well. anyways, a classmate of mine works there. she is in my bio and soc class. as i entered the restaurant i decided to respond to all the IMs i got on my sidkeick while i was driving. naturally this girl set us up at our table and while doing so commented on how she always sees me using the sidekick. great, thats just what my mom needed. so then she goes on to lecture me on how, when and where i use the sidekick. whatever. i put it down and listened to what she had to say.

we started talking about what we are gonna do for christmas. which is to spend it down with family in southern california. now.... it will be 4 of us. my mom, me, my brother and my sister. and possibly her dog. my mom insistes that we take the truck. i insist that we take the car. her reasoning is that the truck has more room (obviously) and that it is safer. i tell her that both are comparably safe and that the car gets better mileage and is older/cheaper.... so i dont mind putting a huge chunk of miles on it. (i just thought of something that may change her mind... more on that later) anywas, we argued on that for a while, until my sister grew tired of our bickering and had us change the subject.

we then discussed our plans for tomorow. im not exactly sure what conclusion we came to regarding that, but somehow we ended up talking about our trip again. and we argued about other things, like when we were going to leave, and what we were going to do with the dogs, which we probabaly wont take (layla for sure we wont take). and again, my sister got flustered and ended the discussion. my mom then decided to talk about the way we argue. which, of course, led to an aguement. rinse. repeat. no matter what, we would find something to disagree on and argue about it. something in me enjoys the thrill of doing verbal battle, despite the fact thhat we rarely accompolish anything. anyways, i was trying to make the point to her that people are simply more willing to make a stand for their point of view when communicating with people they know. the mroe you knoww someone, the more comfortable you will be to talk to them, and the easier it will be for you to speak your mind. and when you have people who disagree as much as my mom and my brother and i.... that leads to arguements. such us the nature of discussion. our problem is that we are both pretty stubborn and dont easily concede to one another.

anyways, after we had finished eating things really got interesting. my sister was talking about sosmething and i asked her a question. my mom proceeded to answer. i dont knwo why. so i told her that i was asking my sister. and that i didnt want her opinion. for some reason she took offense to this thinking that i was completely un interested in what she had to say. which isnt true, i simply asked my sister and was therefor interested in her opinion. my mom felt that i needed to hear hers as well. i told her "i was asking emily, i didnt ask your opinion" and she literally said "well im telling you anyway." now.. i realize that i sound insensative when i say "i dont care what you think" but.... theres really no other way to say it. i was just asking my sister a question and expecting an answer from her. not my mom. and my mom was totally convinced that i not only wanted her opinion, but that it was her right to give it.... despite the fact that i clearly directed the question at my sister. it was at this point that i got up and walked out. my brother joined me. he had been wanting to do so for several minutes already.

in the car i turned the radio back on and my brother played his iPod. Stairway to heaven was in progress. my mom and sister eventually joined us and we set off for home. not a minute had passed before my mom wanted to talk. i told her to get it overwith. but when i saw that we were gonna circle back and start the cycle over again i announced i didnt want to talk about it. she quipped at how i suddenly changed my mind about hearing what she had to say. but frankly, she cut me off earlier when i was talking to my sister and i didnt want to keep argueing. but we did anyway. cuz i wanted to make my point that i simply was aking my sister a question and wanted her and only her to answer. we started to argue again but my sister again ended it. we got on the freeway and this asshole behind me was driving up my tailpipe so i moved over to let him pass... he was starting to pass me before i was even out of the lane. i muttered a "geez" over the music and my mom responded by saying "you mean theres a bigger idiot then you on the road? that is amayzing" WHAT!??!? "ths is why we need to take the truck to bakersfield." BECAUSE AN ASSHOLE IN A 300GT WILL BE TAILGATING US!??!?!?! WTF!???!?!? thats more or less how i responded to that remark. and at that point my sister had had enough and screamed for us to stop. so i stopped. turned up the music and proceeded. "When The Levee Breaks" how appropriate.

unfortunately the next song was "Communication Breakdown" and as appropriate as THAT was, my mom couldnt help but comment on that too. "is this your song?" WTF!?!? she doesnt know when to quit. she knows exactly how to piss me off. again she commented on my driving. and the more she spoke the louder the music got and the faster i drove. she wasnt too happy about that. but i was just so fucking pissed off. and my sister was practically in tears.... but of course my mom was there to comfort her... in spite of the fact that she instigated every altercation. i was perfectly happy with driving in silence and enjoying the music. but she insisted on speaking.

should be an interesting trip to the city tomorow. i cant wait.

Lithium

what a crazy day! so busy. so much stuff. so much food. so little time.

day started with my mom feeling she had to wake me up. she wanted to go to church. she wanted me to accompany her. w/e. i didnt feel llike putting up a fight over it. my brother was doing a great job of that already. besides... i got free juice and doughnut. breakfast part 1. took my bro and sis to church after that. my sister goes to sunday school.... so my mom wants her to go to church too... w/e. and my bro gets to go with her. lucky him. had a bagel and cream cheese for the trip. breakfast part 2. got home. looked at sunday paper, ads, bla bla bla. my mom thought she would make some egg salad sandwiches. using bagels. i had an open faced eggsalad bagel sandwich. lunch part 1. my dad wanted to take us christmas shopping..... so off we went.

we went up to the mall in santa rosa, where we bought nothing. but i looked at stuff. i wanna buy my mom the new Norah Jones CD, cuz i know she'd like it. but i am gonna see if i can compile a list of CDs and movies that i can get from Rene using her awesome powers of Best Buy Employment. anywho.... we then went to Carls Jr. for lunch. my sister was hungry. it was about 3 or so.... and knowing that i was gonna be having dinner at around 630, i didnt want to order anything big. had some chicken sandwich. shared a soda with my sister. got a bunch of refils. wasnt planning on drinking so much coke.... must have refilled it 3 times. from there we decided to check out Borders... i love that store. i looked at stuff... they had the cheapest prices for all the music i was looking at.... so thats a consideration if i cant hook up with Rene for her discount. my dad got a couple books. he got a politcal book for my way-left uncle..... and bought me "America (the book) A Citezen's Guide To Democracy Inaction" i read the fist couple pages when i got home... its great.

but before i could get too far into it, i had to go. lacey invited me a few weeks ago to her birthday dinner. i originally thought it would just be me her, her bf, a couple of her friends, her parents and her BF's parents... maybe some other family members. but as it turned out, there were 20 of us. odd as they were, i wasnt surprised... not to say that i was expecting a bunch of lunatics, but we all have crazy families. i have yet to meet one who isnt.i have 2 of my own. it was pretty fun. bill is pretty funny, quick with the smart ass responses. i like that. and she had a good time i think sucking down that huge margarita. i oredered a salad. didnt want anything substantial as i had eated lunch part 2 not long before. but i sucked down about 4 glasses of pepsi. ugh. after dinner i left and got on the phone. called melissa.

she wanted to study today for our exam tomorow. by this time it was already 8:15. i drove up to petaluma, she agreed to study. we went to carrows. pretty much the closest place that open late. i was SOOO stuffed. i didnt wanna see another food. she ordered fettucinni alfredo. w/e. i had a mocha. more caffeine. she said earlier that she was gonna look at cars. when she drove up in the parking lott, she was driving a Charcoal Grey Toyota Carolla S. just like her old one, which was in fact silver. it was nice. perhaps not the car she REALLY wanted, but its too late for that now. she replaced her baby whos untimely demise i mentioned before. so we talked a little about that. and then other stuff. eventually we got to biology.... for a while. but we were easily sidetracked. i think the fact we were both tired after busy days was of no help. carrows closed at 10. we were there till about 1015. she may be still up studying. ive spent all the time sicne coming home (1030) chatting and writing this post. i too should have studied. o well. time to post this bitch.

btw, i am troubled by the lack of readers/comments ive been getting. maybe my life is boring. maybe you pople are busy. maybe both. i duno. i miss carinne and margot and shirz and ken and nathan....... does anyone remember when they used to read my blog?

Remember

i have no idea which day i was supposed to register for classes for next semester. it has probably already passed. plus i have a $100+ delinquent fee thanks to the rate increase that occured mid semester (and our fair governor). so i cant even begin to register till i take care of that. also, i have no idea what i should take. it looks like philosphy *shudder* and a bunch of art type classes. unfortunately, ,the mnly drawing class i can take is NOT with the teacher ive taken before and only 1.5 units. so it looks like i would be taking a couple of art history classes too. so with 3 classes id have 10.5 units. damn. which means i need SOMETHING else. any suggestions? i got nuthin.

in other news work is chugging along. we just had our anual clean your desk day. which went... i dunno. i dont think as well as last year, since only about half the office was there to clean their desks. one really needed it and didnt get touched (see moblog). but there was free pizza (again..) and soda. i will likely be putting up our holiday lights soon. not looking forward to that.... i dont wanna put up lights at work then have to come home and put them up here too. bleh. bah humbug!

also, people are asking me what i want for christmas. but i dont know. i reallly dont. any ideas? i got nothin. we are thinking of going down to SoCal again for christmas. that should be fun. maybe i'll get more music. and sicne i can take my laptop, i can get them mstraight to my library. we should take some movies too..... any idea on that? i want answers people!!

classes. gifts. movies. now! GO!